Rejection

It's that moment when your heart sinks and you fill the tears building up behind your eyes. It's that moment when you know your life did not take the turn you were hoping it would. It's that moment when you feel as if you have lots all hope.

Yes, this is what it feels like to be rejected. Whether you are rejected from a job, a lover, or friend, the feelings are pretty standard. You know that you deserve better because you have been a good person, a hard worker, and loyal friend. Yet, life does not always follow your plans. Sometimes, you look up and you realize that you have taken a completely wrong turn.

The real question is what can you do when that happens? Where should you go? How should you get back on track? At this moment, I am wondering if I need to get back on track at all. Perhaps, it is time for a change. I have no idea what that change might be or how to find out, but still, a change might be needed. Clearly something in my life is not working because I am sitting here as a college graduate with no idea where my future is going. I want nothing more than to find my way, but at this minute, I feel completely lost.

Butterflies

It has been nearly 2 weeks that my boyfriend has been abroad, and I have only talked to him a few times since he left. He comes back in just a couple days... and I could not be more excited to see him. Until he left, I did not realize just how much I talk to him throughout the day. We are always sending little messages to each other or calling just to tell a quick story. I feel like so much has been happening in my life since he has been gone and I want nothing more than to be able to share it with him! I know that he is going to come back with tons of stories and pictures of his adventures and I am looking forward to hearing about those memories. 

The strangest part about seeing him after so long is that I actually have butterflies. I am nervous/ excited to finally get to talk in person again. It feels like it has been ages since we last saw each other. I cannot even begin to imagine how wonderful his trip has been, nor am I used to having to fill him in a 2 weeks of my life. Regardless, I am so excited for the day that he comes home! 

There is nothing quite so sweet as seeing someone you love after a long absence. 

Confession

It's time to confess... I think one of my biggest flaws is that I can stand up for others, but not for myself. I used to think that in order to be strong, I needed to fight the battles of the weakest person in the room. I had to take their side, because if I didn't, who would protect them? The problem is that sometimes I am the weakest person in the room, and in those times, I do not stand up for myself.

I am all about taking a stance, having an opinion, and fighting back. I love arguing for a cause that I believe in, except when it is my own cause. I worry that if I lose my own battle, I am telling everyone around me that I am weak. I fear that I will embarrass myself. The last thing that I want is to appear helpless. So, I fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. Even if I lose, I did something brave by standing up for another person.

Right now, I find myself wondering what does it mean to truly be strong? What battles are worth fighting? When will I learn to protect myself?