Feeling Sad? Take your Vitamins

After an awesome weekend, the fast-approaching week is almost too much for me. I can't totally explain why this coming Monday seems so much worse than the ones before. Regardless, that's exactly the case. For the first time in a while, I actually wish I could cry. Yet, for some reason, the tears just aren't falling. I feel incredibly alone.

Naturally, I occupied myself with the internet...
My doctors have been telling for a while to take my vitamins. Sometimes, I do. Mostly, I forget. I've been told several times if I take my vitamins, I'll be happier. Strange. But, I figured it would probably be a good idea to look into these calms and decide for myself.

Vitamin B12-

1. Ability to boost ones energy level.
2. Speed up your metabolism.
3. Without vitamin B₁₂, iron is incapable of functioning at its fullest.
4. Helps produce healthy red blood cells.
5. Ensure proper functioning of the brain and nervous system.
6. Contributes to emotional well-being.

Vitamin D-

1. Helps boost mood: Deficiency = Depression.
2. Important factor in immune system support.
3. Contributes to strong bones.
4. Increases mental alertness.
5. Essential for heart health.

Overall, these two vitamins appear to be required for a happy and healthy life. Which means, I will finally start listening my doctors advice.

Requirement of Life: 2

Recently, I've been doing a lot of thinking about what's important and what isn't. I've started to compile a list of things that are absolutely needed if I am going to be happy. They are in no particular order, but the first requirement can be viewed here.

The truth is I make mistakes. We all do. I am so far from perfect that it's not even funny.  Yet, I believe that one of the most important things in the world is being able to apologize. When you hurt someone's feelings, whether on purpose or accident, you should be able to admit that you are wrong. That is exactly what I am going to do right now.
To the boy who broke my heart, I am sorry. It took me some time to heal and forgive you, even after you came back to apologize to me... I am sorry for anything hurtful that I may have said. That was never my intention. Whatever I posted in my entries was more about me than it was about you. I know that it doesn't feel that way, but it was. I needed to get every possible emotion out so that I could move forward. I missed you every single day and I am thankful you are back in my life now. To the boy who broke my heart (but came back to fix it), I love you.

I believe we make mistakes. I believe we are better for having made the mistakes. Most of all, I believe after we make those mistakes, we need to apologize.

...I Write...

Today, I would like to dedicate my entry to all those who are without a voice.
I realize this is slightly bizarre. Yet, for a long time, I was one of them. I allowed my situation to be beat me down so far that I actually forgot I could do something about it. I forgot that what I had to say mattered. I forgot that I had a voice.

To celebrate The National Day on Writing, I'd like to take some time to reflect.
Maybe it's because I am a student or maybe it's because I am an English major... either way, when I hear "writing," I think "papers."  However, that's so far from the case. For me, writing is an outlet. It's a way to escape when the world gets to stressful. Running to my computer and posting a complete bitch-fest entry is what keeps me sane. Writing about my struggles over the last year has made them real, but it's also reminded me that they are over now. Something about the entire process is relaxing. When I am done, I will have created something lasting. My voice, the voice I forgot existed, will be permanent.
When I'm too afraid to speak out loud, I can speak silently on paper and know that I am heard. I write because I don't want to be like every other teenager, running their mouth without actually saying anything. I write because I like watching the words drip from my finger tips. I write because I want my thoughts to be remembered and revisited. I write because I have something  to say.

Before you decide that you don't use writing in this way, consider.
     Times you sent a text message because it was easier to write out than explain.
     Facebook walls you wrote on instead of calling to see how a friend was doing.
     When you emailed your professor because office hours was too much work.
     Goofy notes you passed to your friends when class got a bit too boring.

I believe in the power of what we say when we aren't actually speaking. Sometimes we speak a little louder when we say nothing at all.

Breathe... You're home!

Every now and again, I fall back into that awful place of last year. For the past few days, I've been stuck there. I can't really explain why that is or how I got here. All I know is that my smile hasn't been as bright recently. It's at those times that I really welcome a trip home.
I can't really say what it is about home that makes everything better, but it does. Maybe it's the hug that waits for me at the door, or the amazing meal that clearly took hours to make. It might be the endless jokes and the early bedtimes. Regardless, there is a never-ending feeling of love here, and the second I walk in the door, my stress melts away.

Upon my arrival home, I found this sitting on my bed. I was told to take it back to school as a way to remember how far I've come. I am almost at the top of the staircase now, and it feels so good.

Inspiration

It wasn't that long ago that I watched my life fall apart. It wasn't that long ago that I cried myself to sleep. And, it wasn't that long ago that I realized that it is all over now.
Truth is, I don't know who I'm going to be or where I am going to end up in life. I don't know what I'm going to do when I graduate or where I'm going to live. Yet, the truth is, I know who I am right now and I like it.
To start over, I had to let go of the past. I had to smile even when I wasn't happy. I had to realize that the power to change things was in my hands. To start over, I had to believe in second chances.
I began collecting little reminders. I needed to remember who I had been and where I wanted to go next. I have a file on my computer with pictures and quote. Whenever I felt lost or unsure, I looked at them and determined that the next step wasn't as big as I thought.

I believe all it takes is a little inspiration. With that, we are capable of anything!

Requirement of life: 1

I'm not sure what is going on with me currently. It's like I've totally hit a dry spell when it comes to writing. It's not that I don't have things to say, but I'm seriously lacking the motivation to say them. I literally feel like I am drowning in schoolwork right now and every last bit of energy as gone into catching up. So, I've decided to embrace my laziness...

Tonight is filled with roommate fun, way too much tv, and a lot of sleep. Nothing beats an early night and a lot of laughter. I've found that it is super important to spend just one night a week taking care of myself and giving into completely lazy moods. It's pretty much required if I am to have a happy and healthy life.