-In Loving Memory-

There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss you. Even though six and half years is a long time, it feels like yesterday. For the first time in years, I cried. I can't explain why this Christmas is harder than the rest. I wish you were here. There is just so much I want to tell you. Mostly, I got several A's this semester and I can only imagine how happy you would be. I can almost see you jumping around. After all the time you spent forcing me to like school, it's finally paid off. I miss the hour long phone calls. I'd love to hear what you'd have to say about my ex-roommates. I would give anything to see you again. I know that you are watching over me. You will always have a special place in my heart. I love you.

Rest Easy, My Friend

With Every Passing Day...

It's days like today that make me think I am lying to myself. Maybe I'm not better. Maybe I'm not stronger. Maybe I'll never be back to myself.

It seems like no matter how hard I try to switch back into the girl I used to be, I can't. I just get further away from her. I want to remember what it's like to fall asleep feeling excited for tomorrow. I want to remember what's it's like to stay up as late as possible because I don't want my good day to end. Those feelings are so far away for me.  They start to get closer, but only to tease me. Then, it's like they just slip through my fingers and disappear again.  Some days, it's like I can actually feel myself breaking even more.  That happens whenever someone else gives up on me. I shouldn't need the support of others, but I do. I don't want to be the only one believing in me. Yet, with every passing day, that becomes a little more true.

Requirement of Life: 3

In this crazy life, we often forget to be grateful. It's so easy to sit down and complain.  And when I wasn't looking, this blog transformed into the place that I come to throw a bitch-fit. If I have a bad day, or I start to feel lonely, I run to my computer and let the words pour from me. Looking back over the past months, I bet only 5% of my posts are happy.. if you can even call them that. Instead of finding myself through writing about my adventures, I wrote about the sad things and lived out the happy.  In a sense, my blog and my life became two separate worlds. Which brings me to my 3rd requirement of life: Celebrate the good (no matter how small).

• I am thankful for my family. It is impossible not to smile when they are around. There is just something about the jokes, conversations, and endless hugs that makes me better than ever.
• Today, my boyfriend stopped over. I haven't seen him in a week and opening my door to his smiling face made my heart melt. I've really missed the butterflies in the time we've been apart (even if a week is a short amount of time).
• My best friend is my hero. She literally comes to my rescue every single time something is wrong. She always knows just what to do to fix my bad days. I'll never be able to repay her, and still, I'll never stop trying.
• There is nothing better than a afternoon nap. For the first time in a while, I took a nap. I love that feeling of just waking up and realizing that you can lay in bed a little longer.