For a while, I was considering deleting my blog. I really believed that I had overcome the struggles of my life, that I had grown, that I was ready to face the world again. However, I don't think that is the case. I am wondering what I did to deserve all of the struggles that I've had to face and why more just keep popping up.
Maybe I have found pieces of myself along the way. Maybe I know some of the things in life that make me happy. And maybe there are still a few things missing. Yet, I still feel like I am far away from where I want to be. I cannot imagine that all of my strength and hard work was for nothing. I know that I am loved and that I have a lot to offer others. I believe that life is so much more beautiful than I am currently seeing it to be.
Even still, yesterday was filled with tears. It was different than many of the times I've cried in the recent past. This time, the tears didn't seem to want to stop. They almost burned my eyes, as if I hadn't been expecting them and they broke free. My face was red, blotchy. I felt paralyzed by life. Nothing seemed to hold any appeal. I wanted to sit around and soak in my sorrows. That feeling has long since left me, or so I thought.
In that moment, I realized that so much is not okay. And so, I once again am setting out on this journey to happiness.
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