Take Time to Reflect

Have you ever taken the time to look back over your past relationships, flings, crushes? I mean to really look at them? Chances are, if you are anything like me, you haven't. Sure, I glanced back now and then. I told funny stories or complained about things that I never bothered to tell him that he was "doing wrong". Sometimes, I would even go as far as miss him for a while. That's not what I'm talking about, though. Not even close.

Take a few minutes, hours, or weeks and reflect back on what worked. Even more importantly, reflect back on what didn't work. For every person you've ever been attracted to, ask yourself, "What did I like about this person?" and "What didn't I like about this person?". Then take all of the things you don't like and figure out which ones you cannot live with. Those are the qualities that you need to avoid.
I'm realizing that I don't have a ton of things that I truly can't live with, but the ones on my list have no exception.

• No name-calling or using secrets against each other. Fight fair.
• No hitting, pushing, or throwing things. 
• One parent will be a "stay-at-home" parent until children reach, at least, age 5.
• Open communication. 
• Cannot be controlling. We are both part of the decision process.
• Sharing of responsibilities and burdens.
• Willing (and wanting) to make time for the two of us to be alone.

I believe that a healthy relationship consists of love and understanding. Both people are going to make mistakes, get insecure, and need extra attention from time to time. As long as your relationship is built on mutual understanding and trust, you have nothing to worry about. Love and respect the one you're with, and the rest will work itself out.