Talk. REALLY Talk.

Yesterday I surrounded myself with friends. It was so hard for me because I just wanted to sit and cry. I spent the day catching up with people from school and making plans for the year to come. A piece of me is really looking forward to having some new adventures on campus. An even bigger piece wishes that I didn't have to go on these adventures alone. Either way, I plan to take the city by storm, a surprisingly powerful thought.  As I sat, I not only listened, but talked. I mean, I really talked. Before, I only shared the details of my struggles with a few very close friends and loved ones. Yesterday, I decided that could change. Like I said last time, I am going to change and grow. Accepting my year of never-ending struggle is the first step. It's a part of me, a part of my past, and a part of who I will become. I can either let it beat me down, or I can look it straight in the face and move on. Obviously, this is easier said than done. I just keep telling myself that I cannot change the past, but I do have control of my future. I might not believe yet, but maybe if I hear it enough times, I'll start. It isn't healthy to hold bitter memories, wish and wonder. It's silly. It's been one day since I set out on this journey, but I am already kicking myself for not talking about things a year ago. I guess all I can do is talk and embrace the ease with which the words flow. Who knows, maybe I'll make some great friends along way. One thing is for sure, I am eternally grateful for the people who never left my side. I really do love you all.