Bend OR Snap

"Bend, but don't break." I think the world forces us to be flexible. It is always changing, evolving. This is clearly a very hard concept for me. I like rules, and following the correct processes. I need a rule book for life. But, in a place where everything is changing, it's impossible to make set boundaries to live by.
After watching my life slowly "fall apart," I couldn't understand why things were happening or how to accept them. I wanted someone to follow me around and tell me, "react like this" or "do this" or "say this." I want some incredibly smart person to teach me the proper way to respond or to move on. It amazes me how strong people can be or how much they know when they aren't personally part of the situation. I can tell anyone how to behave or what to think, but the second things happen to me, I completely draw a blank.
Think about it. Your best friend breaks up with their significant other and asks for advice. Obviously, you tell them not to talk following the break up. You plan fun things to do together or ways to take their mind off the recent ending. Now, put yourself in the situation. All you want to do is talk to your significant other, to make it better, get back together. You want the pain to go away regardless of the cost. Yet, the only thing you can do is wait. Whether you fill your time with friends and family or you throw yourself into your work, you have to wait. You have to be ready to move forward long before you actually move on.
See, here is my problem. I am not flexible. I am not good at embracing change. I am not one of the people who can hold it together and keep going. I cry, I complain, I hurt. I break. I do not like when the comfortable and familiar become uncomfortable and unfamiliar. I don't know how to adapt. Currently, I am working very hard to close my eyes and leap into the unknown, ready for whatever is waiting. Realistically, I am probably more like tip-toeing towards it. I am slowly accepting that how things used to be, are no longer how they are. Yet, I am no where near accepting what currently is. The real problem is that I don't know how to bend. All my life, change happened slowly. I was ready for it. I knew when I would change schools and who would be going through it with me. I knew that once I got to college, I would have to study more and socialize less. I had time to prepare for all the major life changes.
Then last year, I stopped being prepared. I did not know that my roommates were going to treat me horribly, or that I would spent most of my year in panic. I had no idea that my best friend and I would have a huge fight. Worst of all, I couldn't imagine my boyfriend no longer standing by my side. My life drastically shifted when I wasn't even looking and by the time I turned around, I didn't recognize what I was seeing. There are still days when I don't even recognize myself.
If only I knew how to bend. If only I knew how to take things in stride or be flexible without warning. This is probably one of the most important things to know in order to have a happy life. Life is always changing. I am always changing. There is nothing that can last exactly as it is for the entirety of life. At some point, you are going to open your eyes and realize that things are different. The best thing to do is bend with them. Otherwise, the changes will break you.