My Biggest Fear

My biggest fear is that I have become submissive.
I worry after spending a year without a voice, I've forgotten how to use mine.
I'm afraid if I don't protect myself, no one will.

My friends used to tell me that they wanted to be like me because I stood up for myself. No one could ever push me around. No one could hurt me. I wouldn't let anyone have that kind of power over me.
Now, the girl I used to be is a million miles away, and I don't know how to find her. I have become something completely new. I am not okay with it. Maybe I changed because I lived with emotionally abusive girls. Or, maybe it was because I gave up my own voice in exchange for what was best in my relationship. Possibly, I lost my voice due to my own insecurities. Whatever the reason, I am submissive and it's not okay.

Please Hear Me...

I don't know how to bring myself back to the girl I was before. I don't know how to love myself enough that I am willing to fight for me. I don't know how to put myself first and be okay with it.

So, my next goal- continuing along the lines of self confidence- is to put my needs first and be okay with it. I deserve to be heard just as much as anyone.