You know how many fun stories you hear about "When I was your age, I did...." Sometimes, I can't help but wonder what kind of stories I am going to tell. I can't imagine that looking back, I'll have great stories about my college experience or the friends I made (but then lost). When I think about how these are supposed to be "the best years of my life", I'm so scared of what is still to come.
My major problem is that I am still so hurt. It has been about a year since I put all of roommate struggles in the past, but for some reason, I can't seem to completely let them go. I don't understand how people can say they are my friends but then give up on me. Or, even worse, use the fact that they helped as a way to gain something in return. I'm beginning to wonder how many people truly care about me and how many just want to benefit off their good deed. I realize that everyone has their own battles, but sometimes it feels like my current fight is never going to end. Some days, I just want someone to come along and tell me how to make everything alright. Yet, I know better than that. I know that I need to fight my own fight, and make peace with my own devils. Late at night when I get too tired to be strong, I crack and the tears come pouring out. It's at these times that I fight to remind myself that, eventually, I will get things right. I will be happy once more.
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