Last night was completely awful. My mom promises that it was from the medicine I've been taking for my wisdom teeth. I'm not so sure. More than anything, I'd like to believe that I was so overly-anxious because I've been taking really strong painkillers for a week, but I just don't know.
I'm an anxious person. I've always been anxious and I will always be anxious. There's not a whole lot I can do about it. This is the hand I was dealt.
Sometimes, I let who I am get the best of me. I let my anxiety eat me alive. I sit by in tears and watch as my life starts to crumble. Truthfully, it's terrifying. This whole process is so horrific. Yet, I know that, deep down, it isn't going to beat me. My mom keeps telling me that I'm the strongest little girl she has ever met, and I believe her. There is so much fight left in me. Of course, there are days that I don't want to fight. I might have to slow down from time to time, but I won't stop. I refuse to give up on my dreams just because life got a little scary.
Anxiety does not, nor will it ever, define the type of person I am or quality of life I live. I have my own set of issues, but so does everyone else. We are all working hard to be the best that we possibly can. Personally, I could not imagine judging someone (or being afraid of them) for being diabetic, having cancer, or needing a cane to walk. So, please don't think less of me just because I worry far too much.
I don't like being this way. I would change it if I could. Yet, this is who I am. It's about time that I start learning to be okay with it.
I wish there was a "love" button for this my friend :)
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