As my return to school rapidly approaches, I am finding that my anxiety is also returning. I keep reminding myself that college is not a scary place. It's just school. You would think that being someone who loves learning, I would be excited about getting back in the classroom. Yet, I am not. The thought of school makes my heart race, my body shake, and my eyes water. This year, I am trying a new approach-- clearly, the last one did not work out.
It is my goal to control the anxiety before it starts to control me. I am beginning to find that it is easier said than done. The second that I started to feel like I was drowning, I went up north for a few days. I spent most of my time reading, which was a great way to relax. Even more, I have my first weekend of school pretty much planned. I have such a hard time sitting around at school with nothing to do. I plan to spend the first night there, but come home to spend one more weekend with my family before I get too busy.
I am finding that the best way to combat my anxiety is to keep making plans. The more I have to do, the less time I have to worry. It's when I really sit down to think that I find myself having panic attacks. Even with this new strategy, I have had 2 panic attacks this week. It is scaring the hell out of me. I don't feel like I have time to worry about my anxiety on top of school. I just keep telling myself that once I get going, my anxiety will settle down. Sometimes, I believe it.
Out of my entire college experience, I would like to truly enjoy at least one year.
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